The name, 'no-maam' at first made me think it was a joke - like an homage site to Al Bundy.
Instead I found myself reading chapters of the e-book linked above. It makes a compellingly honest (though most women will be offended) assessment of the male/female roles that are natural to us as humans (truth) and the roles as dictated to us by 'cultural norms' (another term for that which is shoved down our throats from infancy onward).
Quite often when we think of “Rites of Passage” the image of a primitive society performing some bizarre ritual comes to mind, such as the Vanuatu Land Divers.
"Both a harvest ritual and a rite of passage amongst the tribes of the small pacific island of Vanuatu, land diving is now a tourist phenomenon. The men who live on Pentecost Island in Vanuatu, climb a rickety 98-foot-tall (30-meter) tower, tie vines to their ankles and dive to the ground, falling at speeds around 45 mph (72 kph). When a dive goes correctly, the person gets close enough to touch his shoulders or his head to the earth. However, unlike bungee jumping, these vines aren’t elastic and a miscalculation in vine length could lead to broken legs, cracked skulls, or even death. Boys once they have been circumcised at about age 7 or 8 begin participating, though they usually are permitted to jump from a shorter tower. As a boy makes his first dive, his mother holds an item representing his childhood. When he jumps, she throws the item away. Divers also refrain from sex the day before they jump — legend says it will cause the jump to go badly." -- 10 Bizarre Rites of Passage
“The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.” -- Robert Briffault, The Mothers, I, 191
The Corollaries to Briffault's Law:
1 - Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.
2 - Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit (see corollary 1)
3 - A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male (which is not bloody likely).
It is the nature of the female's mothering instinct to be 100% totalitarian. Small children need this type of totalitarianism or they would soon get themselves into all sorts of trouble. Thus every boy starts off life completely dominated by a female and it takes a decisive change to escape his mother's gravity field and grow into a man so that the next generation of women will have men to marry. For all the ballyhooing in the media of "the man-child" and for all the haughty snipes of women at males to "be a man," they don't seem to understand that in order to be a man, he cannot behave like a woman. Our thoroughly feminized society has relentlessly propagandized us to believe "the right way" for humans to behave is "the female way" while at the same time has attacked and derided everything that once defined masculinity as "macho" and unfavourable.
Just as children are not equal to adults, men are not equal to women - a "man," who is a man in the true sense of the word, has surpassed the level of women and has grown beyond it. This fulfills Briffault's Law and also enforces the hypergamy which women need to be exposed to in order to be sexually attracted to a man. Thus, a family hierarchy develops - and this hierarchy works... we know it works because we have historical evidence of it working for several thousands of years in our very own Western Culture - the family as based upon the Bible.
Man --> Woman --> Children
It's the natural order of things. Women take care of themselves and children, and men take care of themselves, women and children. It does not work in reverse.
Lots of women spit and fume about this, but what they are forgetting when they are told Biblically to submit to their husbands, is that husbands are also commanded to submit to God, or to The Truth. And as Jesus pointed out, to rule is to serve. Thus, this is the proper ordering of human existence if we are to live above that of the beasts of the field. Only when a man lives in proper accordance to The Truth can he expect a woman to be in proper relation to him.
God/Truth --> Man --> Woman --> Children
In reality, there is no such thing as equality. All relationships are hierarchical in one way or another. Sometimes they change, or often what is going on underneath is entirely different than what appears on the surface. The men who stood on the deck of the Titanic so that their women could survive is an example of how the underlying hierarchy is often different than the social appearance of hierarchy.
"But what difference does it make whether women rule, or the rulers are ruled by women? The result is the same." -- The Politics of Aristotle, The Spartan Women
"Equality" really only has meaning in relation to the sphere of human law - in the realm that all people are equal before the law in regard to their rights as put forth by the American Founding Fathers: The rights to self-ownership, life, liberty and property. Certainly not the "right" to a job, or to healthcare, nor to be able to vote to bankrupt the future of one's children so that we may party it up today on their credit card bill.
"Men" are not on the same level as women. When men consider themselves "equal" to women, they are resented and disrespected by women. The sexes are different, and thus need different things from each-other. Women need men to be their tool in society, and therefore men have to bring something to women that women cannot do themselves. (Watch how birds court each-other) Thus, if he remains "equal" to a woman, she has no use for him. A "man" has to graduate beyond the level of women - if he doesn't he will be completely flattened by women when he encounters them. It is women's natural right to be in authority over children but it is not right for women to be in control over men. If a man behaves as a boy and relates to his wife as "Is it OK for me to be me, Mommy?" he is not a man equal to women - he is beneath them. This is what happens in many marriages today - the husband ends up treating his wife as his mother, and as such she begins to resent him. How can something that is her own creation (a boy, a child) be equal to its creator?
"If you allow them [women] to pull away restraints and put themselves on an equality with their husbands, do you imagine that you will be able to tolerate them? From the moment that they become your fellows, they will become your masters." –Marcus Porcius Cato (the Elder, a.k.a. the Censor), 234-149 BCE
Only when boys separate from the totalitarian power of the Mother and grow into men do they truly have a sphere to address women and from which women respect them as men. However, women instinctively try to prevent boys from leaving their field of power - children are women's "possessions" and who wants to lose a possession? To mother, he will always be "her little boy." Also, it is not wrong for it to be a struggle to escape the totalitarianism of mother, for manhood not "won" is not manhood at all. Women cannot show boys how to become men because it is an entirely foreign concept to them - just as children cannot show adults how to behave because adulthood is something children simply don't understand. Women are instinctively uncomfortable with competition and conflict, which might cause people's feelings to get hurt, and thus, they try to prevent boys from growing away from their field of influence and into men.
"Women and men want very different things and therefore very different worlds. Men want sex, freedom, and adventure; women want security, pleasantness, and someone to care about (or for) them. Both like power. Men use it to conquer their neighbors whether in business or war, women to impose security and pleasantness. ... Just about everything that once defined masculinity is now denounced as 'macho,' a hostile word embodying the female incomprehension of men. ... Men are happy for men to be men and women to be women; women want us all to be women." -- Fred Reed
Women want us all to be women - or children - because that is what they understand. They have no comprehension of "men" or what it takes to be a man. Children deprived of their fathers through divorce are horribly abused in this way, for they get "aborted" at the female/child stage of development and have far greater challenges "growing into men" and learning how to address women in any other way than seeking the approval of mother.
Along with the thorough feminization of our culture, so have we removed many of the aspects that used to make boys into men, and in turn we are finding that there are less and less "men" for women to want to associate with. Once a woman enters into a male institution, it immediately becomes feminized - thus we now even see that girls are allowed into the Boy Scouts. Men and boys need to have places separate from women where they can meet and be men, free from female influence.
Learning self-reliance and self-confidence is essential for boys. Thus things such as camping and learning how to build fires from scratch are good builders of character for young boys. Women are creatures who depend upon others, but men are creatures who must depend solely upon themselves. Not only must they depend upon themselves, but they must also be able to depend on themselves in excess, or they will not become sufficient "tools" for the next generation of women.
In our feminized school systems, when children play sports like soccer they no longer keep score so that the children's feelings will not be hurt by being "losers." This again undermines masculinity. When I was a kid, I played on a soccer team and we were the worst team in the league. I don't think we won a single game all season - but our coach did a very good job with us in teaching us how to lose gracefully. It builds a boy's character to lose and accept it. Many endeavors a man takes on in life will not be successful, but learning how to lose gives him the confidence to try anyway... and if he keeps on trying because he is not afraid of losing, sooner or later he will find success. Our schools are "aborting" boys development by robbing them of the opportunity to lose - and when they can't figure out why boys aren't developing properly, they fill them with Ritalinrather than addressing the fact that boys and girls are different, and need different strategies to develop.
Learning to deal with the bully is also a rite of passage for many boys. I remember as a young boy when my father taught me how to stand up to the bully. I had gone to a private Christian school as a child and there was this one kid named Peter who was constantly bullying me. Two grades higher than me and bigger than me. One weekend we were at a church camp-out, shortly before my 11th birthday, and Peter started picking on me and shoving me around in his usual way. I remember I went running back to find my Dad and told him what was going on.
My dad told me, "Boy, there's just some times that you are gonna have to take care of these things on your own."
I still remember his words, and in fact, have followed lots of them to this day.
- Always walk from a fight, but never run.
- There's a time for talking, and then there's a time to stop talking.
- Once you get into a fight, fight to win. But even if you don't win, you've got to show him (and the others) that when they mess with you there's going to be consequences.
I recall him providing me with a strategy too. "There's nothing 'fair' about this fight. This kid is two years older than you and he's bigger than you. If you have to knee him in the nuts, then do it, and start punching him - and don't stop until he's on the ground."
I remember walking back out to where all the kids were playing, and that's how it worked out. He started shoving me around again, and I kneed him right in the nuts, and punched him in the head about five or six times as he was going down, then I turned and walked away. Everyone was shocked.
When I walked back amongst the row of RV's, as soon as I rounded the corner, there popped out my old man (he must have been watching). I was trembling like a leaf. He just put his arm around me - never said a word to me about it, neither good nor bad - just walked with me.
Today, here in Canada, there is a great big "anti-bullying" campaign going on. All the kids are encouraged to wear pink shirts to symbolize they are against bullying, there are bullying "hotlines" set up, and every time there is a conflict between two kids, the mothers are called in to the principal's office to "work things out." Apparently, at some school in Toronto, there is a ten year old boy who decided he was gay (how can you decide you are gay when you are ten?). In order to keep this "gay" ten year old from being bullied, the school has appointed a teacher to walk around with him full-time to keep him safe. The old "schoolyard rules" have been completely abolished and we are raising our boys to be feminized sissies, not independent men confident in their own abilities.
Being bullied is part of life for men and it is important for them to learn how to stick up for themselves.
Re-framing this culturally, the boys of today are similarly being bullied by feminists. It's a similar 'fair' fight. They're bigger, smarter and they fight very dirty. And this is something this generation of boys needs to sort out themselves, because the older guys will not be around forever. Perhaps becoming Men Going Their Own Way and passing feminism's cultural fitness-tests might be the new Rite of Passage for the boys and men of today and tomorrow.
Related: Diagnosis ODD -- by Hawaiian Libertarian
"Mothers find in their children satisfaction for their desire to dominate, a possession, an occupation, something that is wholly intelligible to them and can be chattered with: the sum of all this is what mother love is; it is to be compared with an artist's love for his work. Pregnancy has made women kinder, more patient, more timid, more pleased to submit; and just so does spiritual pregnancy produce the character of the contemplative type, which is closely related to the feminine character: it consists of male mothers." -- Freiderich Nietzsche